It's 2011: Happy New Year !!!

Hmm, What is my new year resolution going to be??? Let's see:

1. Lose weight
2. Drink plenty of water
3. Eat chawanprash
4. Never skip meals
5. Go to temple regularly
6. Stop fighting with everyone
7. Save more money and less of shopping
8. Talk less
9. Eat less chocolates and chips
10. Be more disciplined
11. Never share any food with monsters like Vamsi
12. Be more patient
13. Listen to my mom and J
14. Be more girlie
15. Be constructive - start piano classes, improve my writting, learn new words and softwares.

The list is too big...

What about you??? What's your list or resolution for this year?

Yay !!!! Back to slumber time !!!

Flashing news on the incompetence of Indian law in nabbing criminals has once again been the highlight of many news channels. As each day brings more news on our frail system and top notch corruption, my understanding has led to ponder if the common person is taken for a dummy. Latest eye-catcher was of course the Aarushi case, death of a 14yr teenager in 2008.

BI:
What lit this case were a number of accusations by the police, then CBI, to prove the law wasn’t sleeping. The young girl named Aarushi Talwar was alone at home when her dentist parents left for a party. On their return, they did not check on her that night and went off to bed. Next morning of course, was a shocker when they discovered her dead body. The list of accusations started from the house servant of Nepalese origin whose body was found on the terrace, the next day; the parents as they ‘it seems’ had found their daughter and servant in a compromising situation; peers of the servant and so on….. Finally, the CBI spills out its beans – they didn’t have any suspects and no one to accuse. Phew!!!

It is disappointing and fulsome to find you cannot find a culprit even with an enormous change in technology, DNA & fingerprinting methods and many more. While I watch serials like CID, CSI and others where justice always prevails in the end, the reality is quite the contrary. Then again, I remind myself over and over again on the zillions of cases which are pending in court, cases of innocents being thrown behind the bars, cases of criminals walking free after spending few years in prison or granted bail only to find them free forever because “someone” did not collect enough evidence. Towards the rotten end, all I could do was, pen down my thoughts here.

Question: If you had to change something about the law and order or want to talk in general about it, or would like to share your views on this case, feel free to post your comments here.

You break you lose, you fight you win!!!

I am a person like you. I love everything life is offering me, the warmth of my parents, supporting kinship of my siblings, chit-chattering with peers and the love or hope of the love of that x person I am destined to be with. The joy of being free from insecurities, the feeling of a fleeting eagle in higher skies looking at all the miniature dwellers around me, the changing weather from sparkling droplets of water to golden rays of sun peeping through groups of white cloud, the patterns of frequency from the early chirps of a sparrow nearby to the hip-hops or pop, the changing life from manual to electronic to liberation, so many more…. just rekindles the joy of being alive and being me!

With curious eyes, I watch and learn books of knowledge through text, wisdom and experience. The pumping heart within skips not just one, but many beats to find something new, a new meaning in life or a new adventure. There is so much to see, absorb and execute but I realize that I am not entitled to deliver anything, shine amidst the hundreds of power who overcast their dominance by sheer actions and/or verbs. I am in a world of hypocrisy and nothing can be done even when the revolution ‘MODERNIZATION’ has begun! Soon, I find my name to a list of age old cases of physical abuse and harassment.

Am I to trust you or can I trust you? Years of being together can suddenly stomp your trust. People around you look like vultures lining to scavenge your tiny self. Those known to you are the ones to pierce your soul in ambush and you thought you know everything so well!!! Trusting strangers has been a cause of concern but why those who you know? Was it something in me that steered a reaction of lustful strike of seconds or minutes? Where did I falter in exhibiting my emotions? Everyone around seem to think I initiated this or point a finger on my face or is it simply because I am a woman. It’s a slap on my integrity without attributing an ounce of scorn to the one who imbibed this feeling. I see two sets of people talking about me pretending that nothing has happened, as if I wasn’t the topic of discussion. What they don’t see is that I can see them too. Their actions are evident. While one set empathizes my current state of mind and experience, others mock at it. I am no more than a scoop never to die out as this will linger onto my existence till the very end. Forgetting it will not be easy as no one really wants me to forget. Why don’t they see what you give others comes back in a bigger form? Not that I would like anyone to go through the same but if you cannot sympathize or empathize a victim of harassment, don’t judge them and hit them daily with your questioning eyes. I am all alone right now. This is my battle and I understand it but I have not given anyone the rights to speak on my behalf. Moreover to all those who think I can be overpowered with your taunts, I will not back down.

I might have lost something ‘that day’ but gained a fresher outlook of confidence and strength today. I am a much wealthier person of power. To those who dismiss my agony through their ill attitude, well I am very much in control here. My dignity is very VERY much retained as it was and it is you who has lost it on my journey. Still, even to the one who brought this to me and to you all, I forgive you and pity you. You did not break me but made me the ‘ameliorated me’. I still have my family, close friends and all those who matter or whom I matter to, with me.

Watch out for the best now... here I come!!!

(This is dedicated to one of my dear friend who has been an inspiration to women of harassment. The one day of pain and humiliation has not put her down. She continues to fight her battle and we are all proud of her. If you have been hurt, don’t give up. Life is too precious to exhaust it. You are not alone and taking a tragic step will leave your parents living a meaningless life. Just don’t give up!!!)

Stumped: Aki and Moi

5th Dec, 2010 - Morning:

Back to a new Sunday and I am stumped!!! While the sky has been surprisingly kind with its nonstop showers and shades of grey, my mind has been juggling between so many thoughts – Go to Sleep like the ‘so many others’ or head to my most favourite place where the changing tides love hitting the shore with all its strength, where you find nothing but water, water and only salt water, where you find yourself in front the mighty Indian Ocean as one of the thousand admirers of its wonder – The Marina Beach.

Chillness seems to have crept inside the house and the surrounding has been nothing but desirable and lovely. Hmm, what is it that could be done at this moment? Eat freshly baked Australian Cookies from Cookie Man or piping hot Masala vadas or Pakodas and fall into a peaceful slumber or just may be....venture into the arms of inviting skies. Phew!!!

Evening:

Am back folks after a nice bath by the almighty ‘Indra’. Yes, I went out. My friend and I finally ventured into the arms of the inviting skies. As they turn on their sprinklers, speeding cars with lunatic drivers give us a free mud pack/ bath. Amidst the confusion and low visibility, we ride on a pretty Activa through the busiest roads in dear Chennai all the way to beloved Marina waiting anxiously for our arrival. We are in, parking our vehicle near the 4 wheelers to find a handful of crazy bunch like ourselves. As we head, our eyes take a turn towards the lady making roasted corn or bhutta’s in the rain. Yum, rain and hot corn is a deadly desirous combination and we got ourselves one. Biting the niblets coated with masala, walking slowly on the hardly seen sand, we shiver and squeak.

In front of the water and I see the gushing white water in full throttle. Famished and angry, she hits us and the drifting sands again and again and it felt sooooooooo good. The warm water was nothing less than nectar to a busy bee for our numb feet. Our cheeks had been frozen from the long ride and continuous downpour. Still, the hormonal rush within kept us warm. Watching the unending splendid sea was a tear jerker, reminding me of all the times I had been there talking to it. Small as an ant, I could have been easily crushed and taken away but I stood firm. Contemplating over my actions and then suddenly turn my focus to just enjoying ‘jumping’ and ‘screaming’ a zillion times till we left them behind. This day for me would definitely be one of the most adventurous events in my life – away from home so late, riding in the rain continuously that too doubles, standing right in front of a growling sea... I (We) truly loved it.

Rain rain don’t go away,
Come here almost everyday !!!

1…2…3…..4………………………………………and its out!!!

A dedication to my dearest chums who make my journey lovely and lively!!!

Most innovations happen in serendipity. This however folks is not a chat on the discovery by Sir. Alexander Fleming or wireless products of a bustled computer age. It is about Kms of travel over tarmac from my niche to the skyscraping grey jungle for 9 hours of sweat. Eager eyes watch minutes go tik-tok, tik-tok, till the needle points at the hour of departure. Woopy, I find myself again in the back seat of a faded white 12 seater coach along with 8 of my cab mates.

A sneak at moi chums:

WCC: The first to enter and last to leave, he is called nari or kudikara from the land of Karaikudi . Often morakkafying with his tiny eyes, he’s quiet friendly (to just one) and a miser when it comes to use of words. Well, that is mainly because, he believes in ‘watching’ than confronting a ‘anyone/someone’ with words and scaring with his signature laugh and first ‘funny’ word ‘aayyo, ayyo, ayyoyo’. Loves admiring all beauties the city offers, be it the left, right or the front view from the cab. It’s a talent and he does it like a cat sneaking into your kitchen, removing the lid from the milk vessel slowly, with its eyes shut to drink, thinking that no one is watching it. Little does he estimates the eagle eyes of his expert pals behind who can easily spot the tiniest of movements. Lean and picky in eats, he spends most time watching an outdated mobile for a message that seldom comes. Its understood though, when you’re in love, you are prone to look at words sent by your better half (moon ailu ailu). Another deep aspect of him which altered his interests was his dear best friend bestowed with special favors (hush hush) and late calls even though he is sung his favorite song ‘Alaipayuthey’ to change his mind, to treat everyone equally.

Nuts: The once skinny glassed innocence from Madurai prone to all the kinds of micro-organisms, soon transmogrified to a tyre of countless dimensions and an ACC. Uh-huh, hold your thoughts there, the next few lines will say why I said this. Months back when he was new, the only way he made acquaintances with our group was with his first introduction – my father is from CBI. To all of us, CBI meant ‘Central Bureau of Investigation’ and it was appealing to have a friend who’s father belonged to this prestige service. A month gone by with the same belief, and here he is…..bombing our notions by saying CBI – Central Bank of India. The laughter and anger that followed stringed into friendship and brotherhood. He is also known for his late reflexes which resulted in ---- to bulb, tube light, iron box making him desirable by lot of young girls for his innocence. May it was ‘this’ that led to ‘that’ day when a certain ‘desirous’ sat right next to him. Awwwwww!!! He loves repeating sentences like ‘What did you say at that time’ zillion times after few gulps of an nepenthe. All this changed for a short period when we turned to newer roads resulting in his death wish to speak ‘Hindi’. I don’t have to say why… you all can guess, but all he learnt was ‘muh bandh kar’. Phew!!! At this rate, I don’t see any hopes of a double future…. Wake up bro!!!

Droopie: From the land of camels, he has become one of the important members of the eating community. Appreciates food and also follows WCCs footsteps occassionally. Reserved and lost in his own world of calculations, he is a workaholic. A father to a beautiful child (which was a surprise) probably accounts for his deep sleep during the travel, heads home for extra work at his shop. We are lucky in a way as who knows… in the future, he’ll have chains of his store in the city, and we, proud owners of products with big discounts – Buy 1 and get 10 free!!!

Savei: Quiet with no signs of emotions on those flawless cheeks.. this was her first appearance. Born in my very own (humid) city, this dauntless articulator loves talking, reading and again, eating (a proud member of the eating community). Appreciates yum food ranging from potato crisps, oil soaked bondas and a steamed sweet corn. Hmm… am getting hungry now… She is the only one to share few words with Droopie when he’s awake. Well, as my cab is dominated by women, discussions are more with the ladies than the lost gentlemen. Open in thoughts and words, differs her from many of the people behind the grey walls and having her in our lot is quite interesting.

Chinna Mami: Another city babe and the newest chirper, inspired eyes of boredom (you all know who this is being referred to). With a close resemblance to one of my P. G lecturers, she can amaze you with her sweet talks. A good articulator and spectacularly sportive by nature, she spends a lot of time under the shadows of the great mami and yes folks, she’s the immersion rod, the rod used for heating water in the bucket, a lower version of iron box and definitely ‘under qualified’ for a future in the eating committee. She’s also a filter, letting through a comparatively less of what she filters (4), believing heat for the outcome than the uploads..

Thenga Mami: Born in the land of thengas (Kerala) in a place under Kollam district, she immediately moved to T.N. to kill (kollarey) my tamizh bro named Toni. A mirror image of a mami, she sits silently like a round ball in the second last seat, having a kerchief for her ‘always’ blocked invisible nose. Subtle mornings soon gets replaced with a charged avatar. Loves talking again but what will intrigue you is her movements. He rounds plump hands leaves you spellbound, forcing you to admire her and the intensity of those smiles when she utters her love story, stories from her childhood or a gossip at office, swaying her hands beautifully in air or the seat…Oh la la!!! Oh yes, she also loves eating, rubbing hands (am not saying why here) and is an expert at making nakaras, solving the puzzle to ‘why tamizh guys marry a thenga kutty’ (oh, I didn’t mention it, she married our naatu paiyyen). Emotional and humorous, she charms us all.. Stop acid vakrufying now. I wonder if the boys in her floor are able to concentrate on work… Hmm!!!! Toni Beware, Keep an eye on this thenga kutty!!!

Guruji: Ironed cotton salwars, kumkum on the forehead, neatly plaited hair and nose stud, are her initial strikes. There has been a confusion about Guruji, my guruji’s POB. Some think she’s from the land of spices and gongura pickle (Andhra Pradhesh) while she is a native of the land of swamys (kuppuswamy, karappuswamy, muthuswamy…. Swamy, Swamy and more Swamy’s). Good things come in small packages, and so does she. She’s the 1000 ladi of the cab, silent for long suddenly bursting with an array of words and laughter’s. Romantic and Emotional, she teaches songs like ‘Alaipayuthey’-

Alaipayuthey Kannaa En Manam Alaipayuthey (2)
Aanandha Moagana Vaenu GaanamadhilAlaipayuthey (2)
Alaipayuthey Kannaa En Manam Alaipayuthey (2) stretch……..

and loves the song ‘Vaanga Periamma’ especially ‘Udit Narayan’. Holidaying on Fridays is on her top list of ‘The To Do’ book followed by a regular visit to the Amman temple, she sure is a package of surprises. Wanna call her out? Invite her for your reception or marriage? Wanna shop, and want her to join??? Forget it, she hates going out and literally is never seen on any occasions with her boss washing his hands off after multiple attempts to drive her into extracurricular activities. Everything just crashed!! Spotting the plastic box near those ears is needless to say and appreciating life through the forest of uncertainty puts your spirit up. If you have any niece or nephews, contact her. She could be your instant substitute for a baby sitter or part time mom. I know where I will need to go in the future…Hmmm!!!

We had more back then, but as time flew so did they… to a different cab or greener pastures or just got married. Competitors to the latest singing sensations were the golden Jesh, Hrits, Maathe Gaar with a deafening ‘Pehla nasha’, to the dance guru’s like Prabhu Deva and Hrithik Roshans were the flexible Nammam, to the strong views of a power packed Indian women were G’s, S’s and M’s, to a romatic era of Heer-Ranja and Laila-Majnu were the tear breaking scenes of Yanans, WCC, Nuts, Jesh and Nammam….. Gone are those lovely days..SIGH!!!

OCs are also not alien to us. We’ve had many in the past but it was the regular OC ‘the lead’ of ‘Malai thandi Varuvaaya’, was a favorite time pass of all, jamming the back seat with his killer appearance (funny looks and ‘Onna panna modiyaadu’), fighting for his love with WCC(they share a common love interest ---- the noodles). You all will be cordially invited to watch the much awaited preview of this epic movie soon under ‘VJ productions’ on few of the locals channels like Sun/ Jaya/Vijay T.V. As the website is under construction, online booking is impossible but then again, don’t worry… books your tickets with your posts right here.

Adios, see you all at the premier !!!

Tapping to a green milieu

A hormonal twitch embellishes your very existence on discovering a new milieu, ideated over and over and over its existence, in search of withholding doors of ancient secrets. The excitement seems ineffable lost between anxiety and curiousness. Dreams of the future leaves your mind restless. Thoughts of where you would head, what will you do, what you would wear or what you would shop, are just the beginning to a rain of questions and virtual images. It can numb you till you find yourself to feet’s of determination. This was the onset of my first travel to two of the beautiful cities in Karnataka – Coorg and Mysore.

Mysore:
Famously known as the city of ‘Tipu Sultan’, wrecked the staggered slumber on the very first email by the company’s events team. Though relatively close to each other (TN and Karnataka), not many prefer crusading a path of rejuvenation. Nevertheless, it was something which caught a lot of attention. The start of this journey was boarding the 4am train. On board, running wheels, turbulent seats, and all you can hear is the high spirited chit-chattering amongst the ELS filled boogies. Crossing Bangalore was painful where my eyes spot the very place I saw my Pot with flowers in her hand, followed by a final halt at the Mangalore station.

On reaching the hotel, a sumptuous meal and a quick change withdrew the lagged body at the entrance of the historical ‘Mysore Palace’. As the saying goes, old is gold, the palace carried the poise of the yesteryear's, the elegance of the craftsmanship and the inspiration of the epic. Grasping onto every minute of adulation ended with the memory of a golden palace back to the reservoir of deep slumber.

Coorg:
Still at Mysore, the morning started with an eager look at the sunrise in the balcony. Along with 2 of my friends, we set our suryanamaskars by few kicks in the air, deep inhales, secret chats and captures of nature. Past 8am trailed a journey to the beautiful hills of the evergreen Coorg. Lots to see and little time with us first stopping at the ‘Brindavan Gardens’, - my first introduction to the dancing falls.

The set up dazzled the patchy sky with its dancing waters accompanied by rays of colors and music to an audience of mixed cultures. The nights stay soon shadowed in the arms of a cottage house owned by an old retd. Col. Homemade dinner and a bonfire defined the term vacation with a cozy mattress on the floor waiting to bear the tiny soul. The cottage had wooden beds, more of a dormitory than a bedroom with me tucking under a woolen blanket with no electricity, most importantly no computers!!!

Early morning…. and I find myself with my close friend outside playing with the house dogs. Minutes went by and we found ourselves in front of a gang from my department. As believed, early birds get the worms, so did we as we began our short walk through the hills to a directionless road. Frogs, worms, scorpions, snakes and colored insects whose names I don’t know and never seen, filled the moist atmosphere with life. Naked fog waved across the hills and brushed our brown faces while many white birds flying high. Everything was so perfect!!! There wasn’t any noise, any pollution, any concrete buildings, any smoke, any work, and no stress except serenity. The locals were a splendor in their own way living a simple lifestyle away from the boggles of life. Around our return at 7am, we were informed about the stream nearby. Groups of men and women parted to the two different sections of stream, immersing under the chill waters of a far waterfall. After the bath, it was time to visit the elephant sanctuary. Our travel comprised more of travelling in the 4 wheeled coach making our destinations few. Now, don’t get it wrong. It was still worth it!
I don’t want a ride: What interested me the most was the voyage on a small boat as the elephants were housed at the other end of the rough river. The gushing flow of Cauvery marked the monsoon bless and a view I still miss. While few of my colleagues enjoyed the ride on their broad backs, I preferred watching the peaceful animal being fed by its mahout. Guess what, I also drove the courage to stand next to it, caressing the rough trunk of the gentle beast. Though elephants are not new to us (particularly Tamilians), this feeling was different. Here was a massively sized animal known for its delicate walk along with its comrades in a forest. It wasn’t a temple where it had to bless those who offered a coin and neither was it a zoo. It was free but with humans.
It was now time to capsize our findings of the city, the life, the beauty and nature in its true form, which each of us did in the form of a memory, a picture or few words in a tiny book (and me on blogger)... On the way back to the Mangalore station, we bought souvenirs for our loved ones and some for us, to remind us of our short and sweet trip. Moving forward, I do intend to visit the cities once again in my life and learn so much from what our ancestors did and how we are doing now. As I end this, I hope you all could find yourself mapping them in your next vacation list. Have fun as much I did!!!

Contusions: Summing another feeble

Referring back to couple of articles in the newspaper, magazines and television shows, has undoubtedly grimed my outlook at our existing judicial system and maintenance of law and order within the country. My learning is, however good a nation is, be it developed, developing or under-developed, the bead which strings them together is the worst form of savage treatment on women – Rape. With laws being revised and many organizations formed to protect the so called weaker sex, there haven’t been any salient changes. Women have always been tortured, tormented and cannibalized in the past, the present and the trend seems to have no end. Future is far away with dim hopes of a candescent life. From a young age, I have been told about the harsh realities of life. Articles in newspapers, talks with peers and lectures by teachers, opened a gateway to the insecurities faced by woman. Age doesn’t restrict any form of attack here especially when it comes to rape. Endless articles on minors from 2-3 yrs old toddlers to a 70 yr old woman, the bottom line is ‘it’s always a woman’, raped again and again and again. They are cornered, abducted, beaten, raped (several times by one or group of men) and murdered or simply thrown into prostitution. For a 2 year old, a life which should have started in the arms of a nursing and caring mother, begins with physical abuse ‘growing’ as the ‘little she’ grows, teen ages and withers into a young woman thriving on peanuts given by those who own her, sell her. Marriage is a taboo or a magical word in a fairy land of the strong with her abandoning the quest for a long lost soul forever. She dies without earning an ounce of happiness or love, seeing many of her little counterparts following the very path. Years back on one summer vacation in Bhopal introduced the term “Rape” in my fragile mind. A drunken father rapes his teenage daughter after his wife left for the market. On coming back home, the mother finds her husband outside, sitting in front of the house, only to see a horrid sight of her daughter hanging from a fan. Then there was another story of a nun being brutally harassed and gang raped in Bareilly. The worst which hit me was the rape and murder of 2 kids in Delhi. It was this story that stalled me from seeking help from strangers. The children, a boy and girl scheduled for a radio show in Delhi, took lift from 2 men in an Ambassador. Little did they know that this day was going to be their last. A frantic search throughout the city was followed by many supporters from the school, finally leading to the culprits. When questioned about the event, it was found that the children were taken to a forest, raped and murdered with multiple stabs by a knife in the body. Imagine looking at a site with your child lying naked, bruised, stabbed multiple times, raped god knows how many times, with blood smearing the entire space. I believe it was the first time, the Indian court allowed anyone (parents) to watch a prosecution and death of those (culprits) who had taken away their life (children).
The serial Bhanvar on Sony reflected stories long forgotten like the serial now. Most endings would be with ‘awaiting decision’ or ‘granted bail’. We have the Rucha’s, Priyadarshini, Jessica lals… What’s the bloody point? Justice has been compromised and denied in all cases to those who underwent the misery, who are now no longer with us, having a circle of loved ones continuing a battle of justice. The families have nothing but a bleak hope, for how long, is a question. Reality Check: Did you know that a rape convict is sentenced to only 7 years of imprisonment? Is this justifiable? Is 7 years enough to minutes or days of physical and mental pain? Is the 7 years enough for the bruise to heal or the scars to vanish? Is the 7 years enough for the every minute spent in a dark room or a cornered room where sleep is nothing but a nightmare? Is 7 years enough for the agony of her fragile mind and crushed soul, who wonders if anyone is lurking around to strike bad, and if she will be able to come out of that flight if caught? Is the 7 years enough to a rain of tears, anger, hatred, worthlessness or immense trepidation? Is the 7 years enough for those attached to the victim to help her out of it? Is the 7 years really enough? How many women are able to come out of it? Do all live a happy or a normal life? Are they able to trust a man however genuine he may be? Do they battle out their fears by coming out in the open with heads held high, lit with confidence and strength? How does the society treat or accept them? Are they given a second chance like marriage? What goes through their vein on hearing about another raped girl? How far are they able to trust the police or law in general? What runs in their grey matter or retina on the thought or sight of their convict being released after 7 years or bailed or worse, allowed to wander freely due to lack of evidence? Does this kind of act taken seriously by those running our country? Many questions are still unanswered ….. My question: Would death penalty stop the lustful eyes from committing a sin, a sin of taking a childhood, a sin of remorse of being born as a woman and a sin of being feeble by a woman, would it really put a stop to it? When we have a death penalty for killing someone, stealing someone’s right to life, why is that different from a rape? Why aren’t the rapists tortured, circumcised or allowed to hang from a ceiling till their last breath? Why isn’t rape considered a crime, a serious offense or a sin? It’s time when people take this seriously. We don’t want any more women pleading for help or justice; neither do we want them to yelp for equality or freedom. We have rights to a life of choice not hovered by masks of rummaging eyes. We need to treat the very inchoate thoughts, with a strike of stronger laws, power and outcast the deemed famished eaters of flesh. Think about it!!!