I am a person like you. I love everything life is offering me, the warmth of my parents, supporting kinship of my siblings, chit-chattering with peers and the love or hope of the love of that x person I am destined to be with. The joy of being free from insecurities, the feeling of a fleeting eagle in higher skies looking at all the miniature dwellers around me, the changing weather from sparkling droplets of water to golden rays of sun peeping through groups of white cloud, the patterns of frequency from the early chirps of a sparrow nearby to the hip-hops or pop, the changing life from manual to electronic to liberation, so many more…. just rekindles the joy of being alive and being me!
With curious eyes, I watch and learn books of knowledge through text, wisdom and experience. The pumping heart within skips not just one, but many beats to find something new, a new meaning in life or a new adventure. There is so much to see, absorb and execute but I realize that I am not entitled to deliver anything, shine amidst the hundreds of power who overcast their dominance by sheer actions and/or verbs. I am in a world of hypocrisy and nothing can be done even when the revolution ‘MODERNIZATION’ has begun! Soon, I find my name to a list of age old cases of physical abuse and harassment.
Am I to trust you or can I trust you? Years of being together can suddenly stomp your trust. People around you look like vultures lining to scavenge your tiny self. Those known to you are the ones to pierce your soul in ambush and you thought you know everything so well!!! Trusting strangers has been a cause of concern but why those who you know? Was it something in me that steered a reaction of lustful strike of seconds or minutes? Where did I falter in exhibiting my emotions? Everyone around seem to think I initiated this or point a finger on my face or is it simply because I am a woman. It’s a slap on my integrity without attributing an ounce of scorn to the one who imbibed this feeling. I see two sets of people talking about me pretending that nothing has happened, as if I wasn’t the topic of discussion. What they don’t see is that I can see them too. Their actions are evident. While one set empathizes my current state of mind and experience, others mock at it. I am no more than a scoop never to die out as this will linger onto my existence till the very end. Forgetting it will not be easy as no one really wants me to forget. Why don’t they see what you give others comes back in a bigger form? Not that I would like anyone to go through the same but if you cannot sympathize or empathize a victim of harassment, don’t judge them and hit them daily with your questioning eyes. I am all alone right now. This is my battle and I understand it but I have not given anyone the rights to speak on my behalf. Moreover to all those who think I can be overpowered with your taunts, I will not back down.
I might have lost something ‘that day’ but gained a fresher outlook of confidence and strength today. I am a much wealthier person of power. To those who dismiss my agony through their ill attitude, well I am very much in control here. My dignity is very VERY much retained as it was and it is you who has lost it on my journey. Still, even to the one who brought this to me and to you all, I forgive you and pity you. You did not break me but made me the ‘ameliorated me’. I still have my family, close friends and all those who matter or whom I matter to, with me.
Watch out for the best now... here I come!!!
(This is dedicated to one of my dear friend who has been an inspiration to women of harassment. The one day of pain and humiliation has not put her down. She continues to fight her battle and we are all proud of her. If you have been hurt, don’t give up. Life is too precious to exhaust it. You are not alone and taking a tragic step will leave your parents living a meaningless life. Just don’t give up!!!)
